April: A quarterly update

Oh what’s that? I don’t know anything about money?

Well I do know that a QUARTER of the year has gone by. And that I still haven’t started properly training for my mile. Muy excellente! (Note: I’m still vaguely sick: my ears crackle and I have a cough/respiratory issue that makes me sound like an obscene caller when I walk quickly. Not sure when I will make it back to the gym, but my ass sure hopes it’s soon [so do my pants]).

I am also learning a lot about mortgage rates and the stock market and HOW TO DO MY TAXES oh god why?! Here’s a handy tip Canadians: if you have medical expenses which have cost between $2000-$3000 (even after your insurance has paid you back) you can submit it as part of your income taxes. Learning is awesome!

Also: I am learning how much debt would be acceptable if I decided to BUY a HOME?! Ideally none, but that’s not really normal, let alone feasible. And I’m trying to figure out whether now is a good time to put myself under water or when would be better. Apparently mortgage rates are “artificially low” right now. I will be speaking with banks more this week. I might just need to still live at home and rent the place out if I buy something. Apparently you can do that for up to four years. If you go into five though, then it’s no longer considered your “primary residence” and then you get taxed pretty hard upon selling (oooh osmosis how I love you! Honestly, this is mostly how I’m learning this stuff). Also, I have many issues of the Economist. It’s awesome. I am learning much, about the world and the money that makes it turn on the correct axis of orbit or whatever.

Have you noticed that talking about money makes me hysterical? Like in the Victorian sense? I have a fair amount of money anxiety that I doubt any amount of knowledge will ever be able to quell. Whenever I review my finances, all I can think is “OMG I will NEVER be able to move out!” and “Oh noes! I waste so much money on trivial shit!” (Uh, trivial shit meaning a bus pass, the occasional meal out, a seasonal pair of shoes on sale, and a gym membership for the most part…)

And hey, yoga is getting awesome, but I’m still afraid of doing headstands. Also, my Spanish sucks pretty badly. So bad, that I felt that in addition to my free lunchtime conversation sessions, I should also swot up with Babbel.com and their handy intro lessons. I’m on lesson 3 and I still can’t quite pronounce “beber.” Besides, those podcasts weren’t really working out for me anyway… Sorry Spaniards, but that accent is not what I learned in high school and I sound like an asshole when I try to pronounce a soft “c” as a “th.”

Let’s end this quarterly review on a high note though: I have mastered walking in high heels, I have managed to blog twice per week thus far, I have kept in touch with my grandma, and I got a different haircut for the first time in more than a dozen years! Hooray!


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